LETHAL/ THRASH METAL FROM SWEDEN
1. Hello ! How do you do? Before all I'll ask you to drink a couple of beers (if possible a pack of beer) before answering this interview! Once you are ready, thanks to the spread the voice of the golden BEER!
MIKE : Hey G.! Iím OK but still suffering from the standard Saturday-sickness, had some whiskey to wash it away though as I couldnít find any beer, I drank it all last night... Oh well, onward with the BEER questions!
2. Tell us when your passion for BEER began! What was your first contact with the mighty golden liquid of heaven, and about the first time you were really drunk! Who introduced you to the mighty beer? Did that happen as a coincidence?
MIKE : Oh that glorious day back in my wasted youth... I was 13 and donít really remember much, as it should be!
3. Tell us few of the more crazy things you did when you were too damn drunk!
Now this one could be a long answer... Weíll settle with the last of my greater exploits, about three months ago I was drunk as fuck and ERIK BLODYX DEVASTRUKTOR, guitarist of Lethal, said ę Maybe I should try Snus [You should fucking know what SNUS is!] ę and then, following the voice of my heart I of course said ę HELL YEAH ! Take a fucker before Iíve counted to five or Iíll jump out the window ! Ľ and I counted and as he didnít take any I woke up at the hospital the next day, pelvis broken in three places with tubes up all kinds of more or less funny body parts... Fifth floor, I wonít do it again. Unfortunately this fucked up all kinds of arrangements and has slowed down LETHAL for a while, but as Iím close to fully recuperated now and other things are also moving in the right direction, the demolition will continue !
4. Do you often play gigs and do you drink many BEER during gigs?! Are the BEERS an essential element for your band? Are you able to kick the barman's fat bottom when you are too drunk? Hu??
Far to few Lethal gigs this far, possibly another coming up soon but some issues must be resolved first... The LETHAL Armada sails on oceans of beer !
5. Did you ever refuse playing a gig because no BEERS was given for free to the bands?
Not yet... I fear for that day to come
6. What do you say to the metallers who aren't drunken enough during your gigs? Do you threaten them with a big pack of BEERr? Or maybe Vodka?
I wouldnít notice as Iím no wimp when it comes to alkoholik armageddon myself, Iím the guy lying underneath the sofa!
7. Are you rather for or against hachich and other kinds of drugs? It's well known all those who smoke or use anything else than BEER do not drink enough BEER!! So a decline of BEER sales can be felt! Uh!!! FUCKING ALCOHOLIC DAMNATION!!
I donít need such wimpness myself, BEER is the enhancer of my mind! That stuff is for reggae, not THRASH METAL TERRORISTS!
8. What's your opinion about metallers and musicians who spend more time drinking BEER than listening to metal and rehearse? Are they real alcoholic supporters of the MIGHTY GOLDEN BEER??!
Donít we all ? I mean, you canít rehearse all day every day, right? BEER, on the other hand, fits everywhere anytime!
9. If you had the alcoholic opportunity, would you change your daily job to go and work in a brewery? You could work in a matter you are really interested in, and the golden fumes of hot 'n sweat hops would tease your mind from 8 A.M to 5 P.M!! Hu!! And I think those who work in breweries often have BEERS FOR FREE!! Some of them even try the new beers to determine if the BEERS are BEER ENOUGH!!! UUUUHHHH!!!
Great fukken idea, I shall explore the possibilities in this line of work immediately!
10. What's the best BEER you ever drunk?
BjÝrnebryg Extra Stark floats in my veins !
11. The worst one? Ever tried a chinese BEER?
I once tried "beer" tasting of apricot, thatís a disgrace to the name! Luckily I havenít been forced to try chinese beer yet.
12. When I listen to the voice of the golden BEER and play a cool as fuck classic album of CELTIC FROST! "Into the pandemonium" for exemple, it seems obvious to me they were into BEER! Both the mood, the way the riffs sound the all the "HHHHHHUUUuuuuuu" and "Hťhťhť!!" of Thomas G Warrior sound Damn alcoholic and full of Beer metal!! Do you have the same feeling towards this cult album?
Of course, and nothing less can be said about the mighty CIRCLE OF THE TYR-UH! I AM MORBID!
13. Some bands playing kinds of music like Doom, sludge, stoner or drown claim to be INTO THE BEER! While on one hand one could find in their music the decomposing side of the hot hops emerging from the mighty golden liquid and materializing as a very cool tastes in your mouth, on the other hand they do not have the energy of the mighty BEER!! This mighty energy of metal that explodes and crushes everything on its path!! So what kind of berzerk is that? Should we menace them all and ask them to stop using the mighty BEER SYMBOL OF DEATH? Should we threat them to death since they aren't real BEER METAL maniacs? Tell us what your BEER thinks about it! Uh!!
My BEER tells me that it has many sides and that some of these create a certain mood to be pursued not in thrashing rage but in Doom and Despair, HANDKLAVER OCH KLARINETT SKA DE VA, TJO Ň TJIM Ň INGET ANNAT!
14. Do you think real old school metal can be composed without any beer in the veins? Some bands use hash, some are naturally big nervous bastard, and they play impressive brutal music... but is it the same METAL feeling full of GODDAMNED BEER INVASION??
Damn this is getting tedious, too many fucking questions! Of course BEER is the essence of metal in drinkabe form!
15. On the other band, some bands drink too many BEERS and they aren't able to play... What would you advice them? More BEER anyway?? To stop metal? To play 'light water polka' or 'Scoobidoo & froot loops' pop rock?
More BEER! I know for a fact more BEER always makes you a mean fucking soloist in your own opinion, at least
16. Are you into DARK ANGEL? When listening to their music, it's alcoholicly obvious they were into BEER, BRUTALITY and METAL! What about creating a new project called BEER ANGEL with cool song titles like BEERNESS DESCENDS, THE BURNING OF ALCOHOL, MERCILESS BEER, BEER IS CERTAIN (LIFE IS NOT), PERISH IN BEER, HUNGER OF THE BEERLESS, BEER PROPHECIES... That would be full of BEER!!!
The first part of this question is the most stupid one I have ever been asked. DARKNESS DESCENDS deserves to be worshipped by mere mortals such as myself on our bare knees! We must sacrifice living creatures to honour its greatness! Otherwise that's an exellent idea, BEER HAS ARRIVED! WELCOME TO THE BEERHOUSE! BEER TOMORROW! A BEER INDUCTION! LEAVE BEER! THE NEW BEERHOOD! THE DEATH OF SOBRIETY! OLDER THAN BEER ITSELF!
17. Do you think happy sounding and gay "Metal bands" like CRADLE OF FILTH drink beer???
No. They drink red wine, wear silly hats and read poetry.
18. If there wasn't BEER, what would there be??
19. BEER METAL sounds like a cool kind of alcoholic metal! Which band would better fit this golden monicker in your opinion?
TANKARD and GEHENNAH and DRUNKARD!
20. What's your opinion about other alcoholics kinds of music that has nothing to do with metal?? Do you like some of it because of it's BEER edge?
I'd need examples
21. Since warming traditional meats like Sauerkraut or big old school sausages should definitely be eaten with a lot of BEER, do you consider these old school killer meats like metal? What's the most metal food in your opinion?
As the masterful chef I am myself I have agreat recommendation for you: Every friday evening I make myself the grandest of meals, and the essence of culinary arts is shown in this: HAMBURGERS AND A SIX-PACK! And of course KRAF DINNER!
22. What's the best pleasure: Brutal music, brutal BEER or brutal fuck?
Brutal music. As much as I like the others, nothing can beat the thrashing rage summoned forth by PLEASURE TO KILL or another lesson in metal mastery.
us your opinion about:
24. Ha! Here's the final alcoholic question, it's time for you to say what's needed to conclude in BEER!Thanks for spreading the voice of the golden BEER! Greetz!
WE WILL KILL YOU IF YOU DON'T LIKE IRON MAIDEN BECAUSE THEN YOU ARE A WIMP!