INTERVIEWS                    GUESTBOOK




1. Hello ! How do you do? Before all I'll ask you to drink a couple of beers (if possible a pack of beer) before answering this interview! Once you are ready, thanks to the spread the voice of the golden BEER!

Hails! I am doing bored on a Saturday morning. I canít think of booze without feeling sick, but I was drunk last night. Very bad ! Does it count ?

2. Tell us when your passion for BEER began! What was your first contact with the mighty golden liquid of heaven, and about the first time you were really drunk! Who introduced you to the mighty beer? Did that happen as a coincidence?

Fuck knows who introduced me to beer... It was always around, question was only when will I start drinking. I guess the high school would be the good answer, though I canít really recall ! What I can recall is having some of my faggy classmates in the pub one afternoon when they drank a small beer and went home to sleep. This was traumatic, I still remember it after 12 years or so !

3. Tell us few of the more crazy things you did when you were too damn drunk!

I canít really tell, because I usually remember nothing, so itís like blank. If you remember anything, then you werenít drunk ! I only know what others told me... I think the most embarassing thing was an attempt to desecrate a little chapel on the cityís main street and sending wild ę fuck youís Ľ to everybody around, trying to take off the cross (succeed !). Somebody later told me it was 4 PM with plenty of people around. Very irresponsible. Other weird things would be fistfighting with glass or shitting and puking the same time, trying to have sex with ugly metal chicks, bringings idiots home, attempting to set someones apartment on fire, etc. Each time I am drunk, I make an idiot of myself, so there are plenty of stories to be ashamed of, hehehehe...

4. Do you often play gigs and do you drink many BEER during gigs?! Are the BEERS an essential element for your band? Are you able to kick the barman's fat bottom when you are too drunk? Hu??

We never played live, because of line up problems (right now I am working only with a guitarist who live in Sweden, so imagine), but we were always drunk on the gigs we attended to see. Itís normal procedure. Kicking people is the shit !

5. Did you ever refuse playing a gig because no BEERS was given for free to the bands?

Well, as I said about, this not qualifies for an answer, but free beers for bands are necessary, because we always steal them from the backstage room.

6. What do you say to the metallers who aren't drunken enough during your gigs? Do you threaten them with a big pack of BEERr? Or maybe Vodka?

I always insult metalheads, most of them are sissies with their hair farming needs and expensive shampoos. Fuck all girl metal. Girl metal bands are those who try to impress girls with their hair. Fuck this. Iíll slap any girlmetaller anyday.

7. Are you rather for or against hachich and other kinds of drugs? It's well known all those who smoke or use anything else than BEER do not drink enough BEER!! So a decline of BEER sales can be felt! Uh!!! FUCKING ALCOHOLIC DAMNATION!!

BEER IS ULTIMATE. NOTHING ELSE MATTERS. Fuck smoking weed, itís for narco ambient sissy cunts. We only drink till out bladder bleeds.

8. What's your opinion about metallers and musicians who spend more time drinking BEER than listening to metal and rehearse? Are they real alcoholic supporters of the MIGHTY GOLDEN BEER??!

Well, I like when people have brains as well, so I donít enjoy hanging around with losers who can only drink and babble nonsense. I appreciate knowledge about metal and intelligence as well, surprisingly.

9. If you had the alcoholic opportunity, would you change your daily job to go and work in a brewery?

You could work in a matter you are really interested in, and the golden fumes of hot 'n sweat hops would tease your mind from 8 A.M to 5 P.M!! Hu!! And I think those who work in breweries often have BEERS FOR FREE!! Some of them even try the new beers to determine if the BEERS are BEER ENOUGH!!! UUUUHHHH!!!

Fuck breweries, they stink. I prefer the finished product ! Iíd like to own a brewery though, hehe.

10. What's the best BEER you ever drunk?

I can only name worst (and these would be watery American beer or low percentage Swedish ones and cheapest Polish brews), because there are many excellent beers... Apart from Polish brands, I like Beckís, Heineken and some satanic brands like Old Nick or Satan served to me by Erik of mighty Watain one night. These rocked !

11. The worst one? Ever tried a chinese BEER?

Nope, but Iíd like to try a chinese chick though.

12. When I listen to the voice of the golden BEER and play a cool as fuck classic album of CELTIC FROST! "Into the pandemonium" for exemple, it seems obvious to me they were into BEER! Both the mood, the way the riffs sound the all the "HHHHHHUUUuuuuuu" and "Hťhťhť!!" of Thomas G Warrior sound Damn alcoholic and full of Beer metal!! Do you have the same feeling towards this cult album?

I prefer ę Morbid Tales Ľ in fact, but thatís okay. Usually when I am drunk, listening to old metal, I bother the enviroment with ę ughís ! Ľ and with general fist waving and screaming annoyance... Itís obligatory, otherwise youíre nothing but a disco fag.

13. Some bands playing kinds of music like Doom, sludge, stoner or drown claim to be INTO THE BEER! While on one hand one could find in their music the decomposing side of the hot hops emerging from the mighty golden liquid and materializing as a very cool tastes in your mouth, on the other hand they do not have the energy of the mighty BEER!! This mighty energy of metal that explodes and crushes everything on its path!! So what kind of berzerk is that? Should we menace them all and ask them to stop using the mighty BEER SYMBOL OF DEATH? Should we threat them to death since they aren't real BEER METAL maniacs? Tell us what your BEER thinks about it! Uh!!

I love stoner, even if i am not a stoner myself. Bands like KYUSS fucking own !!! But I agree, itís hard to connect beer drinking madness with hot and sweaty desert sound. Beer & whiskey is for all the rockínírollers, itís only forbidden to drink by discodancers, who prefer their homosexual drinks and cock(!)tails.

14. Do you think real old school metal can be composed without any beer in the veins? Some bands use hash, some are naturally big nervous bastard, and they play impressive brutal music... but is it the same METAL feeling full of GODDAMNED BEER INVASION??

Hmmm personally Iíd rather perform or listen to metal while drunk than compose it. The brain doesnít work too careful while being wasted, so I am not the best composer then. Fuck hash. I spent 2 hours in the toilet feeling like one huge ass once after smoking this shit for way too long, hahaha !

15. On the other band, some bands drink too many BEERS and they aren't able to play... What would you advice them? More BEER anyway?? To stop metal? To play 'light water polka' or 'Scoobidoo & froot loops' pop rock?

Drink more and turn into GG Allin direction !!! This is the only way if you canít stop.

16. Are you into DARK ANGEL? When listening to their music, it's alcoholicly obvious they were into BEER, BRUTALITY and METAL! What about creating a new project called BEER ANGEL with cool song titles like BEERNESS DESCENDS, THE BURNING OF ALCOHOL, MERCILESS BEER, BEER IS CERTAIN (LIFE IS NOT), PERISH IN BEER, HUNGER OF THE BEERLESS, BEER PROPHECIES... That would be full of BEER!!!

Donít like DARK ANGEL, I am false... I love true beer metal bands like DRUNKARD from Greece or GEHENNAH of Sweden!

17. Do you think happy sounding and gay "Metal bands" like CRADLE OF FILTH drink beer???

I think they do, and they might be a nice blokes after all. They just have a bad musical approach, but then I wouldnít like all bands in the world play good music, there must be a balance, man ! Their first album and demos werenít that bad though...

18. If there wasn't BEER, what would there be??

Pink scary mutant elephant ruining your rectum tightness. Whiskey owns.

 19. BEER METAL sounds like a cool kind of alcoholic metal! Which band would better fit this golden monicker in your opinion?


20. What's your opinion about other alcoholics kinds of music that has nothing to do with metal?? Do you like some of it because of it's BEER edge?

Hell yes, I love all the rockíníroll, punk, psychobilly, rockabilly, whatever !!! This is the shit ! I donít like them because they drink, but because of their great music and outlaw attitude, emerged from boozing a lot of course. Backyard Babies, The Bones, Mad Sin or Silver Tongued Devil are tougher than most of keyboard ridden metal sissies ! Beware !

21. Since warming traditional meats like Sauerkraut or big old school sausages should definitely be eaten with a lot of BEER, do you consider these old school killer meats like metal? What's the most metal food in your opinion?

Schnaps und Schnitzel of course, because they are German and metal ist Deutschland ! Just kiddiní... Last time I tasted Schnaps with the certain Markus Stock fella, it tasted like gasoline. But we liked it, and thatís the worst thing ! Haha. Metal food is nasty burgers and other barbaric bullshit fucking your bowels up ! Nothing like a capitalistic McDonalds every now and then !

22. What's the best pleasure: Brutal music, brutal BEER or brutal fuck?

ę Brutal music Ľ makes me think of mindless grind/gore or whole new ę death Ľ metal crap which I truly despise. Brutal beerstained fucking is appropiate way of time spending !

23. Give us your opinion about:
-Strawberry milk

Never tried... I always shit like a fountain after drinking milk.

-BEER without alcohol: A myth.
-Alcohol without BEER: Useless.
-Alcoholic metal sideprojects: Mandatory.

24. Ha! Here's the final alcoholic question, it's time for you to say what's needed to conclude in BEER!Thanks for spreading the voice of the golden BEER! Greetz!

Check out the new HangŲver shit at ę Thrash Metal Blitzkrieg Ľ out this spring on Deathstrike Records (www.deathstrike.de). Bang that head that doesnít bang !